“Hey! How are you? How’s life? What are you doing now? Job or anything else? It’s been so long, isn’t it? Blah blah blah..”
This was how I wanted to converse with you when I saw you after 5/6 years somewhere in the middle of the chaotic crowd. But, on the contrary, just a light “Hi and Hello” with the bitterness of confusion and awkwardness and we were done.
You were heading somewhere. You seemed so busy. You dodged that dense crowd within seconds. I didn’t know if you really were or just acted to flee away from me. On the other hand, I wanted to talk, I wanted you to stop and let our words get exchanged. But, I couldn’t take that move either. I was so numb. I was indeed paralyzed and my heart; oh! It was like a bouncing ball. The more it bounced, the more it bashed.
The happiness of seeing you after years and the sadness of being detached from your life; both thumped me so hard at the same time. The moment was jubilant as well as dismal. It felt like everything yet nothing for me. The feelings were so ambiguous. They were coming from out of the world. They just kidnapped my heart and took somewhere far enough to reach out to yours. I was controlled by them; I was hypnotized.
You were the one for me. You are still. You taught me what is love and you taught me how to love. You were the one to make me realize that watering our hearts with love is the key to survive. But, you didn’t teach me how to breathe without it. I am learning it by myself anyway.
Damn! That moment. How can I just let it slip from my zone? I was waiting for it since years and when it was in front of me, I couldn’t grab it, I couldn’t utilize it. I was so helpless and hopeless. I wish if only you could teach me how to be expressive with these lips being stapled. I wish if only you could know how I was feeling. I wish if only we could come across each other some other day. I wish….