A PHYSICAL injury, pain in any part of the body hurts a lot. But the pain is confined to that part only. Few days of medication and it will be all gone.
But, any EMOTIONAL injury, pain in heart hurts much more than anything else. God! The whole body, from the roof of the head to the bottom of foot, to the tip of the toe start aching. I feel like they are shaking, they are shivering with cold and burning with hot. Every type of pain, trouble i feel. I feel like falling from a SKYSCRAPER, drowning into a deep OCEAN, lost into the WOODS, gone with the blowing WIND. I’m lost in a dusty wind where i can barely open my eyes and i cannot figure out anything where i am heading to and what is happening.
The PAIN. Pain in the heart. My god! my mind goes short. Every veins are jammed, they can’t pass the blood anymore and i feel like the blood will ooze out through any hole in my body. They will find out a way and start flowing out of my so called ‘BODY’ and make it an empty vessel. My lungs, they can’t handle the blow of oxygen anymore, i am SUFFOCATING. Not a single nerve in my body is functional at the meantime and i can do nothing. Neither i can talk nor i can move any part of my body. And again it’s just a worthless pack of muscles and skeleton.
Thoughts are like being synthesized and processed in my mind with a speed of light but they aren’t able to trace a route to be expressed. Not a single path. Not a single routing schedule to take them out is working. They are being processed and stacked within my mind. I think they will barely get a chance to savor the taste of the exterior world. I want to move my legs, go here and there but i am just unable to pick it up. The bones are already CRACKED and nerves BLOCKED, they are senseless now. I used to consider my hands as wings to fly high up in the sky of my dreams but at the mean time i can’t feel anything beyond my shoulder. They hardly exist for me.
Everything around me seems imaginary, invisible. I feel like i am flowing in space with zero gravity, nothing is there, neither above me nor below. It’s so vacant, and so is my body and soul. I think maybe i am radiating some infrared rays through my eyes that everything is being THROUGH my vision. They have been teared apart by those rays. I can’t figure it out if it’s a desert, an ocean, a forest, sky or even space. Nothing is VISIBLE, nothing is AUDIBLE. I don’t know if my ear has blasted or nothing is generating sound in real.
I am desperate to see something, to hear out something, to move somewhere and to do something. I should clear it out what actually is wrong with my 5 footed 65 kg weighted body? why i am being like an useless SHIT? why all these BULLSHITS are happening? why i am fucking dysfunctional? why i am freaking out? And why on earth my heart is pounding like a bouncing ball?
Now, i must admit this all is happening because of me, indeed. Because i wasn’t capable of something. Something that i don’t deserve, something that i shouldn’t have expected. Because EXPECTATION leads to DISAPPOINTMENT if it’s not met and it HURTS real bad.